Nudism/naturist exposure is what drove me to a similar place. The freedom and liberation and non-policing of my Black body in its most vulnerable state is as transformative.
Perhaps the most radical aspect of these sex parties is what happens when you take your pleasure into your own hands and the emphasis on asking for what you want. In a world that often discourages us from expressing our desires, these parties provided a safe space to practice. The only way to know if a desire will be fulfilled is to ask, and the more we practice asking for what we want in erotic spaces with strangers, the more comfortable we become doing it in other areas of our lives.
"By tearing down the belief that heterosex means allowing oneself to be a surrogate for the resentment and disrespect a man has for his mother." This hits home for me even beyond heterosex. Thank you for naming and pinpointing this.
Back in the 70s when we were hippies we tried SO hard to make this pleasure principle of non-possessive sexuality bloom, but it tended to die in the darkness of fear, jealousy and the stubborn remnants of patriarchy—that’s still afflicts most of the people of the world—so it is extremely gratifying and heart-warming to see young people, lead by sex-positive queer queens and kings relighting this trail to the future of human sexuality, pleasure, acceptance, and love and making it safe and satisfying for more people—making it work, changing the world for the better, in my Humboldt opinion. Thank you for sharing these intimate experiences.
I was raised in a very controlled, Baptist family and was psychologically and emotionally abused. I feel like this is almost a form of somatic therapy as that involves rewiring the body with positive reinforcement for stimuli. But I still feel I’m a monogamous person, though, sexually, I find I’m more open in terms of what I am willing to experiment with and whatnot.
Sharing sex with friends is a dance of power, not in the sense of domination, but in the sense of empowerment. And it’s a reminder that pleasure, connection, and mutual respect are not just possible, but essential ingredients for a more sensual and playful life.
This is such a beautiful takeaway — power as empowerment. Pleasure is our birthright!
I can honestly say I have no understanding of it all. I don’t have much to do with sex. Only been with two people and not at the same time. It was also years apart. But I have to say it was well written and informative. I guess you could say I never explored my sexuality at all. Don’t know if I ever will as I’m alone.
Hi! Tap into your local kink community and sometimes queer community. As “lifestyle” clubs outside of big cities, tend to have similar crowds. You can search Reddit to start, idk if Fetlife is still a thing. They won’t be called sex parties however, they are usually called “Play Parties”.
Nudism/naturist exposure is what drove me to a similar place. The freedom and liberation and non-policing of my Black body in its most vulnerable state is as transformative.
Same.
Mmmmm well said ♥️
Perhaps the most radical aspect of these sex parties is what happens when you take your pleasure into your own hands and the emphasis on asking for what you want. In a world that often discourages us from expressing our desires, these parties provided a safe space to practice. The only way to know if a desire will be fulfilled is to ask, and the more we practice asking for what we want in erotic spaces with strangers, the more comfortable we become doing it in other areas of our lives.
This really resonated with me ❤️
Oh I love this so much. Thank you for sharing some of the ways sex communities have taught, transformed, & radicalized you. Such wisdom ✨
"By tearing down the belief that heterosex means allowing oneself to be a surrogate for the resentment and disrespect a man has for his mother." This hits home for me even beyond heterosex. Thank you for naming and pinpointing this.
Back in the 70s when we were hippies we tried SO hard to make this pleasure principle of non-possessive sexuality bloom, but it tended to die in the darkness of fear, jealousy and the stubborn remnants of patriarchy—that’s still afflicts most of the people of the world—so it is extremely gratifying and heart-warming to see young people, lead by sex-positive queer queens and kings relighting this trail to the future of human sexuality, pleasure, acceptance, and love and making it safe and satisfying for more people—making it work, changing the world for the better, in my Humboldt opinion. Thank you for sharing these intimate experiences.
I was raised in a very controlled, Baptist family and was psychologically and emotionally abused. I feel like this is almost a form of somatic therapy as that involves rewiring the body with positive reinforcement for stimuli. But I still feel I’m a monogamous person, though, sexually, I find I’m more open in terms of what I am willing to experiment with and whatnot.
This is beautifully written but I can’t help but to imagine walking into sex party and seeing Famous Amos there😂😂 RIP
This was beautifully written and makes me want to explore a sex party.
Sharing sex with friends is a dance of power, not in the sense of domination, but in the sense of empowerment. And it’s a reminder that pleasure, connection, and mutual respect are not just possible, but essential ingredients for a more sensual and playful life.
This is such a beautiful takeaway — power as empowerment. Pleasure is our birthright!
ISO queer s*x parties just like this! Ty for sharing. whew 😅
@Cathy Reisenwitz also we've both been to sex parties. Me in London, you in SF.
What an excellent read. Thank you!
I can honestly say I have no understanding of it all. I don’t have much to do with sex. Only been with two people and not at the same time. It was also years apart. But I have to say it was well written and informative. I guess you could say I never explored my sexuality at all. Don’t know if I ever will as I’m alone.
Amazing piece 🫶🏾
This was an essential read for me
This truly makes me want to go to one! How does one even find places like this??
Hi! Tap into your local kink community and sometimes queer community. As “lifestyle” clubs outside of big cities, tend to have similar crowds. You can search Reddit to start, idk if Fetlife is still a thing. They won’t be called sex parties however, they are usually called “Play Parties”.
Seconding Reddit and Fet (in that order)
Thanks so much! I’ll start looking.
This was also an essential read for me 🙇🏻♀️