18 Comments
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Opeyemi Parham MD's avatar

thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I feel like I have been speaking a huge minority report opinion: that sex and violence/ sex and pain should not be something that women are taught to believe is "romantic". In my generation (I just turned 69), it started with the "bodice rippers"; Harlequin romance novels that model behaviors where women are experiencing confusion, rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing, and are taught to associate this with romance not FEAR... I have no idea what your generation is learning.

Goddess Amina's avatar

Well, I am almost 50 so my generations lessons were probably very similar to yours. I am trying to help the generations under me.

kvozia's avatar

Mid-20s Gen Z here. Unfortunately, as media has evolved, that messaging has only grown stronger. When I push back, it is often dismissed because of long standing patriarchal conditioning.Reading this gave me hope and renewed my curiosity about solutions 🫶🏽Thank you for the work you are doing!

Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

Chile I ain’t never had dick knock me out in this way and I’m grateful. I can relate to some positions causing more discomfort and pain that others and I wish we were taught that it’s okay to speak up and even stop during these moments.

Deshell's avatar

Thanks for this. I can relate especially with the tilted uterus

Goddess Amina's avatar

Yes a tilted cervis is connected to a tilted uterus. More of us navigate this than we know.

Moken Marsai's avatar

I learned I have an inverted uterus a few years ago as well. And I had a similar experience, cramping throwing up the works. Growing up my special interest was the female reproductive system, so I researched any and everything I was curious about. I realised that men in particular do not do the same, in fact they take their cues from dancehall music, rap and other men, instead of their partners. In several ways, sex is seen as something done to women, not something they are active partcipants in, this leads to many to not learn about their bodies and pleasure.

Authentic Willful Expression's avatar

Your retelling of your experience prompted a visceral response... a memory if you will, that my mind can't quite recall, but my body definitely knows. Thank you for sharing this. I am grateful for the opportunity to track my response. And thank you for being a part of the movement of pleasure activism that is helping me reclaim erotic freedom.

Justine Realized's avatar

great piece! thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I had no idea women could pass out from pain during sex, yet this doesn’t surprise me.

Wanda Blake's avatar

Thank you. I remember a man saying while we’re having sex that a former partner had passed out and he’s energy of this meaning it was so good. My mind thought differently. I don’t want it so good I pass out. It just didn’t sit with me. I appreciate you giving this thought clarity. So often a women is lead to believe she’s not doing some right - it’s her fault he can’t maintain his erection. Thank you for sharing your story.

Not a Sad Story's avatar

Love this! So relatable and not talked about enough even in the sex positive space.

Tresa Simmons's avatar

Thank you for sharing. You always leave me thinking about what l know or think l know. At the very least, l leave the surface for a deeper dive.

Nataliah Denise's avatar

Listennn, I so appreciate you saying this out loud. This exactly why I'm not quick to let somebody bend me over cuz nope. I remember my doctor way back when not being able to explain how a cervix that's gangstah leaning impacts me.

Goddess Amina's avatar

The gangstah lean is real!!!

Camari Skye@WrittenProof's avatar

Highly informative! Even though I'm 55 and have never passed out, I have experienced painful intercourse. I'm glad that there's more knowledge out there, but I fear women are still being shamed. I've spent a lifetime learning, as a sexual abuse survivor, how to own my sexuality, and it's been a journey I've had to walk alone. Hopefully, now women won't have to.

Gisele's avatar

Thank you for this

It just made me realize that the shape of the penis and the right anatomy that fits are to take into consideration For your level of pleasure

Goddess Amina's avatar

It’s so true. I will marvel at a love duck because society has told me I should, but a 5.5-6 inch penis is perfect for me if I want sex everyday.

Sloan James's avatar

Whenever I watch porn and see some of the positions and the size of the male performers, I cringe because I know young men are thinking this is normal, and it makes me sad for the girls who don't yet know how to speak up.